One From The Bins, Part 753

While tidying the back issue bins the other day, I ran across this:


("SUPERGIRL'S JILTED BOYFRIENDS!", ADVENTURE COMICS #389, February 1970, DC Comics)

GUY WITH STRIPED BELL-BOTTOM SLACKS AND ASCOT/SCARF:

"SUPERGIRL... why are you turning me to STONE?"

PEEVISH SUPERGIRL:

"Whenever I split with a boy friend, I add him to my private "ROCK GARDEN." You can be your own TOMBSTONE! HA, HA!"

HA, HA! indeed. First off, Supergirl sure has a lot of ex-boyfriends... and isn't turning them to stone a bit extreme? Somebody needs to sit down with "Linda" and discuss anger management issues. Secondly, what a bunch of dorky looking dudes! NO ONE I EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE EVER WORE AN ASCOT. Ascot-wearing is movie and comic book shorthand for "dork". Ascots were NEVER cool. Trust me on this one.

Back to the story. First there's this:


Actually, I really have nothing to say at this point. I'm speechless. And it just gets worse. It involves a sports car made from junk, a galactic lothario, a rain of knock-out chemicals, Brainiac, a robot lothario, smoochies, a clandestine midnight rendezvous at a Civil War monument, a whimpering puppy, an exploding communicator/medallion, a giant space-borne "mock dragon... built long ago by an extinct alien race to camouflage their sacred burial ground!", a "Rock Group" (ha ha) of ex-boyfriends, a fake chestplate, "adhesive liquid Kryptonite"(!), an exploding medallion (again!), and we're "right back where we started from".

*Phew*

Looking back over this, it is truly amazing how much they managed to cram into a 13-page story. All for a mere 15¢. Or $10.00 in the year 2006, which is still worth it.